Coping With Divorce - How To Use A Basic Parenting Plan To Help Your Children Survive and Thrive

Going through their parents\' divorce is a hard experience for most children. Some of my child clients have told me that it was like getting a divorce themselves.

One way you can reduce the wear and tear on your kids and make the aftermath of the divorce go more smoothly is to create a basic parenting plan.

Both spouses should develop the plan together and agree to implement it, for the sake of the children. Your children will fare much better if you prepare a plan that both spouses will use in a consistent way. That way the kids have the same rules and expectations when they are with either parent.

Your Basic Plan

A good plan should include the following:

1. A statement of agreement about the purpose of the plan, date and signatures of both parents

2. A basic philosophy as to how the children will be parented

3. Standards of conduct for the parents and expectations for parental behavior

4. A schedule of the time the children will spend with each parent and transportation provisions

5. How disputes will be handled and resolved

6. Emergency plan in case of an accident, disease, or death of a parent

7. What happens if someone breaks the agreement

8. Financial agreements: who pays what and when

9. Provisions for updating or reviewing the parent plan

10. Religious training

11. How will medical and dental needs be met and who is responsible

12. Child care standards and arrangements

You can think of other items that can go into the plan. The above will give you an idea of what you can include.

Benefits

Drawing up a parent plan is a positive step for divorcing parents to take - one that will make it easier for the children to cope with the divorce and prevent unnecessary conflicts between the parents.

The plan will set an expectation for co-parenting so that the burden falls equally on both parents . . . and the kids never feel like they have lost one parent.

A parenting plan is a great way to not only help the children, but streamline the task of parenting in the aftermath of a divorce. In essence, a parenting plan sets healthy expectations for parental behavior, and helps to prevent arguments, fights and feuds, which can only negatively impact the children.

It will help the parents to stay calm, remain unemotional and behave in a mature fashion. And it will reassure the children that there will always be cooperation, rather than conflict and competition, among their parents.

A basic parenting document will serve as a symbol of the parents\' good will and positive intentions. It will help to maintain the integrity of the original family, and allow the kids access to both parents.

In sum, how can you lose if you and your X agree to create your own parenting plan - one that will keep your children out of the middle and allow them to keep healthy relationships with both parents?

Richard Hamon is a professional therapist and coach with over 25 years of experience. His business, Relationships For Success Coaching, helps people to improve their relationships and enjoy success in all areas of their lives.

Richard has written a unique eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution: How Secrets Discovered From A Near Death Experience Can Help You Ignite Passion and Realize Success in All Your Relationships. \r The eBook tells about an actual Near Death Experience the author had in 2003, which transformed his life and led to a series of insights, revelations and secrets about relationships.

You can find Richard\'s eBook, The Ultimate Relationship Solution at: \r LINKED TEXT

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