All Animals - Not Just Pets - Barbaro, Prudence, Red and All the Others

Just what is it about animals that gets to me? Today the phone rang while I was trying to read the newspaper. Why trying? I was crying as I read about the courage and death of the thoroughbred, Barbaro, and the words blurred on the page. Now as I type this comment, my eyes fill with tears again.

I answered the telephone earlier. It was a close friend. The call was planned and I had forgotten. Snow was falling outside my window. I was cozy warm in my little Victorian house and I had settled in to read the paper and then was caught up in the story and the emotions the story evoked.

The ringing phone jarred me out of my emotional state and I answered. When I told my friend that I was crying and why, she mentioned it was the second time we had talked as I was experiencing feelings around the death of an animal. Her comment was true. I had forgotten our earlier conversation.

The first time we talked of death was when I told her about my young, apparently healthy, cat that came running from the bedroom with a funny barking kind of cough then dropped dead at my feet.

I was stunned and there was nothing I could do.

Another friend, a vet tech instructor, cleared up the cause of death when I described the event. Until then, I didn't know how lethal heartworms were to a cat. Nor did I know the difficulty diagnosing them. And I wasn't aware that cats required prophylactic treatment in the form of monthly preventative. Just one worm can grow in the heart of an otherwise healthy animal. If that worm breaks loose and somehow gets into the pulmonary artery that supplies the lung tissues with blood, despite breathing deeply and even desperately, the animal does not receive oxygen to supply the body because the blood flow has been interrupted. There is nothing that can be done once the event occurs. My sweet, shy, beautiful tortoiseshell cat was dead within a couple of minutes.

I cried then, too. The shock. The suddenness. The fact that this large beautiful cat who I had rescued from the local animal shelter just over a year ago, who practically lived under my bed except to sleep with me at night (purring, purring, purring) ran to me when she needed help...and I couldn't do anything to save her.

This cat, Prudence, I knew and loved. Our relationship wasn't deep, but we had moments of quality time. When I sat on my certain place on the couch, she would leap up next to me and snuggle against my leg. I learned quickly not to try to pick her up. She would panic and struggle with claws out in her desperate attempt to get away. But she would come to me when she wanted to - if I were sitting down. At those times she would purr like the happiest cat on the planet.

Prudence, the rescued cat. Barbaro, the gallant thoroughbred. Red, my beloved hound dog. I couldn't mention him for years without tears coming to my eyes. He protected our family for 15 years.

What is it about me and animals? In most areas of life I'm a successful, functional person. Ah, but animals, touch the core of me in a way nothing else can. I don't understand it.

I've heard of people who like animals more that people. That isn't true for me. I think humans are interesting, and confusing, and wonderful, and fickle and so on depending on the person and the moment.

Animals, too, have their personalities and moods. I know that. What I don't know is why I have the deep connection to animals that I do.

Creatures of the land and sea have some sort of resonance with a very deep part of me. I don't have to know them.

I've never met Koko, the gorilla, who once had a kitten. I read the story years ago and I've never forgotten. Nor the story of Ruffian, the magnificent filly who was put down after successful surgery for a broken leg but couldn't be controlled to prevent further injury coming out of the anesthesia. Her temperament wasn't that of the Barbaro we all rooted for. We remembered her when hoped for him. Some of us believed that the gallant young horse who endured months of ongoing treatment might beat the odds.

Sometimes I'm embarrassed by my tears. At the hospital recently, a friend told me of her choice to euthanize her beloved old dog. I cried right with her as she told me of her sadness and the decision she felt compelled to make. She didn't want her precious companion to suffer.

Shortly after, my cat died. Ah, the pain of it. Long slow and lingering or abrupt and quick. Either way, for each of us, there was such pain as we felt our loss.

Somehow, on the internet, I landed on a website that described the growing movement toward Hospice care for animals. Oh, I like that idea. We can keep our four-legged friends comfortable as they move toward the end of their journey. We can continue to love them as they look with us with those eyes that seem filled with trust and we can provide them with the last gift of comfort in our remaining time together.

I always stay with my animals as they leave. I thank them for their gift of love to me. I wish they could stay longer and I hope there is a heavenly for them where they are loved and safe. Always in my heart there is a special place for each one of them. For always, until I go.

I don't know what happens after any of us dies. I sure hope we all meet again. Family we're born into and family we create; friends come and go and some stay a lifetime; animals here and gone most often in twenty quick years or less. In my mind, we're all one family really and some of us acknowledge a whole range of emotions that we experience when we open our hearts to all of those we love. Tenderness. Frustration. Happiness. Pain. Joy. Tears. And with our precious animals unconditional love.

Sometimes it feels good to share feelings. While some readers might not understand, I know that some will. I wrote this article the day Barbaro was euthanized. Last week a friend lost her companion dog of many years and was grieving deeply. Many of us have been in that sad place...and will probably go there again. In my life, always, I'm grateful for the rich diversity of animals, wild or domesticated, and their presence on the planet.

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